


Dean Didn't get to Tell Him

by casietiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, DeanCas - Freeform, Death, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Angst, Destiel Fluff, Grief, Grieving Dean, Grieving Dean Winchester, M/M, Sad, Season/Series 13 Spoilers, dream - Freeform, sad destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 02:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12355344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casietiel/pseuds/casietiel
Summary: GET YOUR TISSUES READY FOR SOMEWHAT OF AN ALTERNATE ENDING TO 13x1 BECAUSE DESTIEL





	Dean Didn't get to Tell Him

"Cas, buddy..."Dean put an arm of either of Cas's shoulders, weakly shaking him. He blinked and felt tears escape his eyes as he leaned closer to his angel. "Cas..." He whispered, hearing a crack in his voice. Cas was- he was gone. And Dean couldn't handle it. In a sudden motion, a sob left his mouth and he collapsed onto Cas' chest.  
Cries continued from his lips, until he heard a quiet breath. A slow inhale, and then he felt Cas' chest rise. Dean blinked, and sat up, and saw the angel's eyes flutter open. "Dean?" He asked, shifting a little, and eventually pushing his upper body off the floor. Dean's mouth dropped opened in surprise. How the hell did he manage to... Jack. It mustve been him who did this, but Dean couldn't care less how Cas was back. The fact he was back was enough for the hunter. He kept sitting and Dean and him were close. Too close. Close enough for Cas to feel Dean's hurried breaths, and for Dean to see Cas's shaky fingers. But neither of them moved back or seemed to care much about personal space in that moment.  
"Cas." Dean finally said. He was panting, and a slight smile decorated his face as he sighed in relief. "Dean, what happened- I died. I think maybe the nephilim... Jack must-" Dean leaned forward and closed the gap between them. Cas's lips were soft, but cold, and they stayed still at first. Once he got over the initial shock, he seemed to melt into Deans touch and he smiled agaisnt Cas's mouth. When they moved back from one another, Dean held Cas close and they stared into each other's eyes with their foreheads touching. Dean felt happiness move through him, as he realized he could keep living and see Cas's blue eyes every day for a little longer. And maybe they'd even be together this time. If that kiss stood for anything, it was Dean's feelings for Cas was exactly what Cas felt for Dean.  
A comfortable silence fell over them, and Dean stood up. He offered his hand to Cas to help him do the same. When they were both standing, Dean embraced Cas in a hug, and leaned his head on his shoulder. His body was cold too, and his shivering arms wrapped around Dean's torso. "I'm sorry Cas.. I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Cas pushed stepped away from the hug and saw another tear fall down his face. The angel brought a thumb up to wipe the blood from Dean's lip and kissed him again. This time they were both eagerly pushing against each other, wanting, or rather needing to be closer. They couldn't risk loosing each other again. "I love you." Dean breathed between kisses. He nearly felt his heart stop when he heard Cas's reply. "I love you too Dean."  
"Dean?" Cas stepped back and felt his face, it was.. cracking? Breaking? Dean's heart began racing again and he went to rub Cas's cheek to see what was happening. He only just got him back! The carress only caused more damage and Dean jumped back. "Cas, I'm sorry!" Dean was overwhelmed by sudden thoughts of 'How' and even 'Why'. He deserved happiness with his angel, didn't he? Cas fell to his knees and looked at his hands, which were slowly breaking down into.. nothing. "Cas!"  
"Dean!" Sam hit Dean again and he shot up from the back seat of the impala. "Wha- what?!" Dean yelled, shaking his head in an attempt to forget the dream. "You were screaming Cas' name." Sam said softly, placing a hand on Dean's right shoulder from the passenger seat of the front of baby. "Just a nightmare Sammy." Dean explained, opening the car door and walking to the front. He sat next to his brother and started the car, oblivious to Sam's concern which refused to melt away despite Deans assurance of it 'just being a nightmare.' Well he was right. If Dean's life was anything, it was a nightmare. "Are you sure.. Are you okay?" Sam looked as if he were scared to talk to Dean, afraid the mention of Cas would break his brother.  
Sam wasn't an idiot, he noticed the lookes between the hunter and angel, the lingering touches. He knew Dean must've felt something more than brotherhood or friendship towards Cas and he didn't want to remind him that Cas was gone.  
"I'm fine Sam." He looked at the back seat again and suddenly remembered Jack.  
"Where's the kid?" Dean huffed out as he felt a sharp pain attack his lower back. He knew he shouldn't of slept in that stupid position.  
"He's in the house, he wanted to see Kelly for a little longer and I guessed he just stayed in there." Sam smiled, knowing that Jack wasnt evil. His feelings for Kelly serves as proof for that. If only he could convince Dean. He didn't push though and he watched his brother fiddle with the air conditioner.  
"Are you ready to do this?" Sam asked, gesturing towards where they would eventually burn Kelly and Cas.  
"Are we sure Cas is really dead?" Sam squeaked out, "Did you try and contact, God, or Chuck, or whatever." Dean slammed the air conditioner setting down in frustration.  
"You honestly think I haven't tried that?"  
"No I just thought mayb-"  
"Sam, God doesn't care. We have to deal with this on our own. Like we always do. Come on."  
Dean stepped out the car, and Sam took a breath before doing the same.  
Sam went upstairs to check on Jack while Dean went to go see Cas. Dean approached the table slowly, feeling his cheeks burn with a familiar sensation, and his eyes watered.  
He walked around the covered angel, and played with the sheet. When he eventually pulled it back, a tear finally fell down his face.  
"Cas." He whispered, not really knowing what he wanted to say. It's not like Cas could hear him. It wouldn't make a difference. But as he looked at Cas, he knew he had to say something. If Cas was listening somehow, if he could hear from heaven, Dean wanted Cas to know the truth.  
"I'm sorry." He started, and felt his hands shake as they continued to grasp the sheet. He let it go and stood back to see all of his angel. His face was pale, almost a light blue, and his eyes were shut tightly. The hole in his shirt from the angel blade was covered in dried blood, and it reaked of death and sadness.  
"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you... I was afraid and I... Cas please. I need you to come back." He whispered, hoping for something. A sign that he'd be okay again, that he'd be able to get over the pain he felt. But the room remained silent and Cas was motionless on the stiff table.  
Dean sighed and pushed the sheet back on top of him.  
"I love you." He said, giving up. He turned and ripped off the curtains on the window behind him.  
He started wrapping it around Cas, because like it or not, Dean knew he had to accept Cas couldn't come back. Not this time.


End file.
